The Anti-Newark-Tourism Entry

On the eve of our departure, I would like to take a moment to officially say that I DO NOT LIKE NEWARK. I have tried to find the good...and I would like to list it for you now:

-The New Jersey Performing Arts Center

And...that about wraps it up.

Tonight we drove around the Newark area to go to Staples (which turned out to be closed), and as we were driving around, I started wondering WHAT would bring people here, from a TOURIST perspective and HOW they 'sell' it to people. So I came home, and went to the internet and did a GOOGLE search for 'Newark Tourism'. And everything I found was a lie.

1. From the City of Newark website, I found this:
"We welcome you to discover the many joys of being in Newark."
SURVEY SAYS: We were here for a week and there ain't no joys to be had.

2. From the State of New Jersey website, I found this for the Newark/Gateway Region:
"You'll definitely want to stay awhile."
SURVEY SAYS: If by 'stay awhile' you mean 'leave 15 minutes after you arrive', then yes, we would like to 'stay awhile'.

3. At GoNewark.Com, this tidbit of info caught my eye:
"The word is out: New Jersey's largest city is a hip place."
SURVEY SAYS: Isn't 'hip' French for 'boring' or something like that?

BUT I did find ONE morsel of truth....

4. From the mouth of Stage Manager, Elisa Rupert, this line spoke volumes:
"I feel like I'm in Tiajuana."
SURVEY SAYS: DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

Our hotel and staff have been incompetent, at best. Even the NON-smoking rooms smell like a smoker has been LIVING in them for years. The city is dirty, there are bars on every window and if the signs aren't in SPANISH then they are signs for Chinese Restaurants (which MAY be the only redeeming quality about this place....mmmm....egg rolls...)
My apologies to anyone from Newark who is offended...and please know that I will always defend the beauty of SOUTHERN New Jersey. But our time in Newark is up...and we couldn't be more happy to leave. Next stop: EXOTIC Wye Mills, Maryland.
WILL THE MAGIC NEVER END?

CIAO!
Gussy